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14 Aug 2026

 

Ego In Self And Community

Many folks think that their “ego” is an unworthy trait (who wants to be called “egotistical?”) … but it is not that simple. The truth is that we all have an ego.

To be clear, “ego” is originally a Latin word; it refers to “I, me, myself.” Your “ego” is that portion of your self-awareness which identifies you to the world, your basic definition of your “self.”

Over centuries, the word has evolved from its Latin roots into common parlance. It now attaches to a number of terms referring to our individuality – some good, some not so good.

A rightly-formed ego is a spur to success, a source of restrained but useful pride in accomplishment, along with awareness that our talents are gifts from God we have not earned. For example, ego oversees and activates our Virtues which bring out the best in us. We want to look good, perform well and assure others (especially at work) that we know what we’re doing and are competent.

The bad news is that an ill-formed, wayward ego portrays vices as virtues. From early childhood, many people develop the vice of Denial: they lie to themselves and others by denying that they’re prone to arrogance and egocentrism. To protect themselves from this Truth, they resist admitting their faults even with loved ones, whom they keep at a calculated distance. But we are all inclined to defensive, self-deceptive folly and to the erosive effects of a wayward ego. That’s why a well-formed ego is crucial to developing mature Trust and, in time, Wisdom.

Micromanagement And Trust

If we have a healthy ego, we’ll express our Virtues most effectively in environments where Trust in valued. In every organization - family, business or recreational - no trait is more beneficial to a healthy ego than the Virtue of Trust.

Trust is threatened when persons in authority (family or business) exert excessive control and micromanage details. When leaders resort to micromanagement, they introduce a measure of Distrust which contradicts, even stifles, the sense of competency of those on the receiving end (children or employees).

Wise leaders know that mistakes are going to occur. They also know that most mistakes can be learning opportunities and that growth comes through experience, good and bad. Thus, teaching moments are nullified because micromanagement is rooted in power and an excess of control rather than Trust. It quickly becomes oppressive and counter-productive. The micromanager may have good intentions, especially when the best interests of family or organization seem threatened. But good intentions are not always in accord with Prudence or Wisdom or Right Reason.

Despite well-meant motives, micromanagement introduces uncertainty instead of support, power instead of ability, criticism instead of encouragement, suspicion instead of confidence. Trust is threatened and initiative is slowly stifled.

In the corporate setting, micromanagement often overlooks the fact that long-term employees possess practical knowledge that will never be replaced by new goals and policies. Wise leaders will always respect and listen to experienced workers whose years of dedicated know-how is clearly irreplaceable.

Human Nature’s Calling

So, effective leaders certainly know that organizations (business and families) are best built on the Virtue of Trust, not on power and control. Trust strengthens relationships. Even loving families must be blessed with trustworthy persons. Indeed, we cannot love - truly love - anyone whom we cannot first trust.

To some persons, this sounds too idealistic, out of whack with harsh experience. But many people forget Life’s First Principle:

• Our calling in this life is to realize that we are creatures who are responsible to a Divine moral code not of our making.


• Our calling is to accept our moral responsibilities to our Creator and one another, not to find ways to avoid them.


• Our calling is to do the Right thing (1) in our personal lives, (2) in our work settings and (3) in how we treat one another.

In simple terms, our calling is to avoid evil and to develop our moral character … so that we think and act with respect for one another and honor human nature. We use the word “character” when we speak of Right Reason and Right Behavior. And what do we mean when we say our thinking and our behavior are “Right?”

We mean that our thinking and our actions are in sync with what we know to be in moral accord with our Creator’s intent. The specifics of God’s intentions for humanity – i.e., the norms of what is morally Right-and-Wrong are most effectively revealed to us in the Christian worldview, especially in the Virtues.

The Moral Roots Of Character

And what does “moral” refer to in the Christian worldview which is revealed to us throughout History?

• Moral means we are responsible agents; our thoughts, words and actions have consequences which (directly or indirectly) honor God and respect the dignity of others.


• Persons of “character” are morally “Right” in their thoughts, words and deeds, and they consider the consequences of their actions, as circumstances allow.


• They do not manipulate Creation nor twist Truth nor hedge their responsibilities to God and to other persons. They are trustworthy persons of sturdy moral character who know “Right” from wrong and choose what is Right, even at personal cost.


• We can rely on them; they’re morally solid people and good human beings.

A Secularized America

Why do we define “character” in moral terms?

Because all human action occurs within a moral universe in which we are called to observe our responsibilities to God and our fellow human beings. Our responsibilities require us to live according to the Christian Virtues.

Human beings exist within the moral parameters of God’s Creation, His Revelation and His Divine intervention in human history. We exist within the boundaries which God establishes and reveals to us in a myriad of ways.

T’is odd, then, that in our private lives and in the public forum we no longer hear of right and wrong, of good and evil, of virtue and sin. America has banished the language and ideals of traditional Christian Virtue. Our culture has replaced the morality of the Common Good with the specious coinage of selfish individualism.

Secular (often unnatural) ideas pervade our culture and impact every aspect of daily living. Secular ideas effect every organization and institution in which we live and work and seek meaning. Family and church, politics and education, business and entertainment – all are affected.

And the solution? Everyone is born with either (1) the freedom of choice to build our moral character or (2) the freedom to say “No” to the cost of developing our moral character. The choice is ours -- and that’s the central challenge we all face.

Our Choice

To explain the Mystery of Creation, some choose a worldview overseen by an Impersonal “Energy” that - somehow - rules the Universe. Other people choose the path of the Buddha or the conflicted beliefs of Islam. But no worldview is more in sync with human nature than Christian Scripture, the Life and Teachings of Christ and the practical application of Christian Virtues.

Jesus did not lead through intimidation nor preach Distrust. His life and teachings emphasized Love and Truth. None of us is perfect; we depend on the gifts of Mercy and Forgiveness … and we’re called to treat others with Patience, Kindness and Compassion. Our moral nature insists that we are responsible for these Virtues in daily life.

When problems arise, leaders certainly confront the issues and the persons who foster the problems … but they so do Prudently, with the Wisdom which Christian beliefs honor.

This is our calling in life. May it be our choice….