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9 Feb 2026

 

Maturity Isn’t Free:

A common misconception says that age brings Maturity. As we age, the saying goes, we naturally become mature and increase in Wisdom.

Wrong!!!

The Truth is that aging does not guarantee Maturity nor bestow Wisdom. In fact, some adults are emotionally immature in their thinking and quite unwise in their behavior.

Maturity is based on Wisdom. Wisdom imparts moral and intellectual insight which direct our lives, define our character, inspire prudent choices and guide us to lead stable, virtuous, often courageous lives.

Maturity, guided by Wisdom, dictates (1) that we accept personal responsibility for our attitudes, words and actions, and (2) that we acknowledge accountability for our impact on others. Maturity stresses our obligation to be genuinely concerned for others and to demonstrate that moral Virtue is a practical reality in daily life, even when Virtue is hidden behind other terms.

Maturity requires Wisdom, which is radically different from all other forms of knowledge, including academic and technical know-how. A person may, for example, be a recognized academic or a shrewd financial achiever but still be unwise and immature in his choices and behavior, especially when errant pride still reigns.

Wisdom’s Benefits

Wisdom understands the difference between mature decisions and immature decisions. It anticipates the price our choices exact of us and others. Wisdom also recognizes the subtle links between our behavior and the outcomes of our behavior, both in the short- and the long-run.

Wisdom grants discernment about the self-deceptive ploys to which we are prone. And Wisdom is alert to the moral values which benefit society; alert to the alibis we employ to avoid moral demands, alert to the impact we have on one another, alert to the rewards and pitfalls in relationships.  

Wisdom and Maturity always celebrate and encourage Goodness - but they have no illusions about ways we delude ourselves when we say or do something imprudent, crassly selfish or harmful.

Thus, Wisdom and Maturity see the Truth about people in unvarnished clarity, foresee outcomes (desirable and unpleasant) and, all the while, encourage Goodness and seek to influence others to Virtue.  

Wisdom’s Painful Lessons

We are wise to avoid needless pain in our lives -- but some pain is unavoidable and loss is inevitable. However, pain and loss can become (if we choose) a doorway to Wisdom. How?

When pain and loss are unavoidable, our coping mechanisms do not, by themselves, ease our suffering. At such times, Wisdom tells us that we have a choice to accept pain as a morally better path than grudging tolerance or simmering bitterness. Wisdom knows that because we are created individuals we are, therefore, in profound need of God’s support if we are to bear our fragility as His children … with Virtue and dignity.

Wisdom’s insight into our utter dependence on our Creator tells us that a deliberate act of our will to accept God’s sovereignty now makes eminent sense. We choose to accept God’s will over our own, even at the price of pain and loss.  

For many people, these lessons are learned over time, as we face hard personal realities and are stripped (voluntarily or not) of our ego-centric defensiveness, our need to control, our desires for revenge and applause. Wisdom urges us to face the Truth about ourselves – Truth which some of us hide from ourselves and others to protect our ego and elevate our status in the world.  

When we face the unpleasant Truths about ourselves (Truths which we all tend to deny), we can then deal with our selfishness and denial. These are major hurdles to Humility and Candor, to psychological health and moral common sense.

Wisdom is rooted in facing personal Truth … even though facing Truth is often painful. But that’s why Truth is so valuable -- and so elusive.

Maturity’s Extent

We live in various communities - family, church, school, work, friends, society. Maturity recognizes our moral obligations to one another in each community. Indeed, morality begins with simple courtesy and civility which become, if we choose, acts of Virtue.  

What we say and do does make a difference in this world. Many of our actions have moral consequences. We are not alone in this life, and our moral obligations to one another arise from our shared humanity. Human nature is, by definition, moral.

Morality is rooted in our responsible selves as created persons who are dependent on our Creator. Our problems arise when we act as if we have no moral accountability to God or one another. We are also responsible for our attitudes and our behavior even to strangers. Maturity - guided by Wisdom - understands that our moral obligations to one another direct us to create a better world by what we say and do.

Finally . . .

We are not given life to promote cynicism, conflict, untruth, denial or bitterness. We are not given life to tell lies or seek revenge or create chaos or foist pain upon others or treat people as inferior. Our words and behavior do have consequences. When we interact with others, moral accountability ever hovers.

Furthermore, every person has a moral obligation to live a life of Virtue and Goodness, however one may define them. Therefore, we must guard ourselves against moral indifference, self-adulation, cynicism and incivility.  

As we age, our Maturity will increase if we choose to learn from our experiences, especially painful ones, as Wisdom advises. Indeed, pain and loss can be an invitation to growth in Wisdom and Virtue – just as they were for Christ, Who trod a lonely path of pain and loss … and did so for us all.

No doubt, this is a hard lesson for many of us to learn and to accept, but is there another logical or reasonable answer? If we do not gratefully follow this Truth and seek Maturity and Wisdom, what then?

History has a ready answer and consistently reveals the terrible price humanity continues to pay when we put ourselves ahead of our Creator. And when we do consider the price humanity still pays, does it not then make great sense to follow the paths of Maturity and Wisdom, Virtue and Goodness?